Omg look at the time again. Why am I always like this. I survived on 2-3 hours of sleep yesterday (technically today). Went for my competition with energy supplemented by coffee and energy drinks. Came home at 5pm, did laundry, bathed and ate. Tried my best to not sleep but my brain shuts down at 630pm and I woke again at 930pm. So it is another 3 hours of sleep and now it is 430am and I am still very much awake. I thought my bad sleeping habits couldn't get worse.

What is becoming of me?

It is 430am now and I am not going to sleep. I have competition early tomorrow and I am so afraid that I won't wake up in time.

It is funny how when you have all the time in the world but yet you don't focus on doing the things that you should be doing. Like for me when it is late at night, I will be like ah ok, let me just watch some shows or play games instead of studying or clearing chores.

So anyway this is what I am trying to force on myself right now. Try to do those chores that does not require much brain cells and just needed me to focus some time on it. 

But there are some chores that cannot be done in the night, like laundry, going to the post office or vacuum the house. Anyway I am just here to pass some time and make sure that I stay awake enough to function.

All the best to me surviving the day tomorrow. 

It is funny how things are turning out these days. It feels very rocky, very non-smooth sailing. I fell asleep at 3 and now I'm awake. This is madness of the mind.

I hope I can calm myself down enough. There is something weighing down on me strongly and I really need to internalized it. If it is something I don't have much control over, then it should not be something I should be weighted down by. I should focus on the things that I can do instead of wasting time mulling over it. 

I also need to faster lose weight. If I do not have money, then I need to have health. If I am not working, then I should be enjoying.

Trust is important. Trust the process.

How much longer until my guardian angel comes back? 

One year older again. Actually I am usually quite energetic during my birthday day because it feels like it is a special day so I will reward myself with special things to eat. Plus, I rid myself of any and all guilt. 

So it will just be a day to enjoy and do whatever I want.

I kind of want to go Sushiro to have some sushi but it would require cycling and then entering the store and order, eat, then checkout. Maybe sushi is better off eating with another person. I am feeling quite lazy at the moment. Maybe I will just head to Lopia to get some cheap pizza + coke.

Been sleeping really really late these days, like around 430-530am. Mainly due to the fact that I don't need to wake up early to work. I wonder if this is my natural sleep cycle.

Omg it is already 12pm, where did the time go?? I must faster get out of the house!!!

Happy birthday and may the force be with me. 

Been slacking this week and feeling even too lazy to head out.

Every moment outside feels like a mission and I have to be in spartan mode to accomplish it.

Does it mean that I had a good nice rest? I am not sure, I do really hope so.

They always say, rest to get further ahead in the journey ya?

Aiming to be productive this week. 

All the best to me.

Back in Singapore. Feeling dejected or maybe a better term would be head heavy. I just feel that I am not being very clear headed recently. Could it be the surplus of food that my body has to adapt to? I just feel lethargic and misty headed all the time. Like in a dream.

Anyway, the good thing about me is that I do not get myself in a dejected state for too long. I will somehow "wake" up and then focus on the work that needs to be cleared. Although I say that, it does not mean that I am effectively clearing the suppose work that needs to be done or gaining knowledge. I just get myself into this positive mode which does not necessarily translates to being productive. If you know what I mean...

How is it that some people can go into this ultra focus mode and excel. How is it that I am not able to focus and repeatedly falling short.  

Omg I blogged halfway and got distracted with some other chores. Looks like I really need to re-structure my brain.

Time to get my ass moving.

Wow time passes really fast. I will be flying back to Singapore next week.

Makes me think that life is indeed very short and that I should make the most fun out of it.

I am still unemployed, no wait, funempoloyed I mean and I have yet to locate where I should be heading to next.

I was frustrated recently and I put lots of pressure on myself. But then I think again, life is so short so why not just enjoy it to my fullest. These days, I sleep and wake at whichever time I like. I am not going to force myself into getting a "good" habit. I will just go with the flow. Like how I am crazy awake at this hour but that was because I slept from 9pm-1am just now.

I am just doing all the things that I enjoy now but also at the same time, try to gain a little useful skill or knowledge in the process.

Anyway happiness is key to a good life! Stay happy!